I was in Paris when the city was attacked. I was enjoying a wonderfully lazy early evening in Paris when I received a message from a friend informing me that our mutual friends were safe. I was taken aback by this odd message but soon after a friend called to inform me about the suddenness of the brutal attacks. Friends who had heard of the news started trickling in. We stayed up all night, at first talking with family and friends back home and then watching the news. A French couple I had known peripherally were killed in the attacks at Tiffin, at The Oberoi. The news spread fast in Paris and there was much anguish.

My last few days in Paris were anxiety, guilt and sorrow ridden. Anxiety because I feared that the city I would soon return to may have been irrevocably changed by the nightmarish tragedy. Guilt and sorrow because I thought it was unfair for me to be away from a city that had been anything but generous to me since I first moved here three years ago.

By the time I returned to Bombay on Sunday, November 30, things were under control. I was, however, very alarmed by the lackadaisical manner in which the Indian airport authorities went about their job. My luggage went past the security unchecked and I walked off the airplane and into the city with little to stop me.

I was among the thousands who attended the vigil at the Gateway on December 3. Although there were pockets of rowdiness at this unprecedented gathering it was a moving experience. I just hope something impactful and positive emerges from the many shows of solidarity, anger and restlessness we have witnessed since.

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